Husband:
So we have 2.75 lbs of burger browning and your recipe calls for .75 lbs. Have you adjusted your other ingredients?
Me:
Not yet.
Hub:
How many tablespoons are in a cup?
Me:
I think four?
Hub:
Fuck it, four it is! You need to add more flour.
** THREE MINUTES LATER **
Me:
Oh god, this tastes really fucking floury.
Hub:
Let me google this and see how many tablespoons of flour are in a cup. *clickyclackey-gogo-gadget-google* Oh, so it's SIXTEEN, not FOUR. That would explain a lot.
Me:
OH GOD. It's ruined. Wait, get me the strainer!
** STRAINSTRAINSTRAIN - FLUSHING IT WITH WATER **
Me:
Now what?
Hub:
CINNAMON! SUGAR!
Me:
BBQ SAUCE! WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE!
** MIXMIXMIX - TASTETASTETASTE **
Hub:
Not terrible but it's missing something.
Me:
What about honey mustard salad dressing?
Hub:
Fuck it, we're creating a monster. Let's do it.
** DUMP - MIX **
Me:
Oh, that's pretty tasty.
Hub:
It's alive.... ALIVE!!!!
*** LATER... ***
Hub:
It really is pretty damned amazing. We could never give the recipe out, unfortunately. I think people would be thrown off by...
"Step 4 - Add 10-12 tablespoons of flour."
"Step 5 - Freak the fuck out when you realize that you've just committed food homicide."
"Step 6 - Strain the horror show, flushing with water until the evidence of your crime has been washed away."
